I am thankful! Thankful for a Lord like Jesus who is constantly with me. I am thankful that God has created music and musicians to make it. I am thankful for the band Gungor and their love of truth and creative expression for the love of God. Tonight was my second time seeing Gungor live and hopefully not my last. As they made beautiful music with instruments that ranged from electric guitars to mandolins and banjos to a string ensemble, The Spirit of God permeated throughout my body and soul. The songs painted a picture from the entire Bible of the creation of everything, the relationship of Adam and Eve with God in the garden, the fall of man, the coming/death/resurrection of Christ, and the call for the Church to be what it should be! The night ended with everyone in the room singing “Here I am Lord. All I am Lord. Here I am Lord. I am Your’s” over and over and over while the entire group walked of stage minus the lead singer (Michael Gungor) who kept singing while the audience laid the foundation for him to sing over. Amazing.
Oh! And they had a poest who came out and spoke three or four times and she was incredible! I will post a video at the end of this of one of the poems she read as the band played behind her. The Spirit moved when she spoke!
As amazing as all that was, its not the most memorable thing from the night. The people I went with and I decided to go to a local coffee house for something to drink. They had never been there before and I thought they would enjoy the “indie” vibe it tends to have. We parked the car and made out way to the coffee house. As we were getting close we saw a man sitting on the curb and I have been downtown enough to know that this man is going to approach us and more than likely ask us for some money. As we are about to pass him he reached his hand out and said “Can I ask you guys a question? Are any of you homophobic?” First let me say, that is not at all what I expected to hear. But, we all replied with a “no” and he continued “Okay. I am going to be honest with you. I am gay and I am HIV+ and I am homeless. I’m also an alcoholic… a functioning alcoholic, but one nonetheless. Now I am being honest, I don’t want food or water or anything like that. I just want a drink.” He then asked if we wanted to hear a joke and maybe if we thought it was funny then we’d be likely to help. The joke was dumb, but we laughed anyway. And He then asked us again if we’d help him get a drink.
This was my first chance to really say anything other than a “yes” or “no”. I had been thinking and processing the whole time was talking and finally my response came. “Sir, I am a follower of Christ and I really appreciate you being so upfront and honest about yourself. However, I don’t think that I…” He interrupted “If your answer is no then just go ahead and say “no” and be honest.” “Okay” I replied. “No. But can I tell you why?” He answered with a reluctant “sure” and I continued “When we first approached you and you told us some of your story, you said you were an alcoholic, no?” “Right” he said. “that is why I can’t give you money. I can’t help you…” Again, he interrupted “Okay okay, you said you are a believer. Are you a firm believer?” “Yes sir” I said. “I believe in Him too. And let me tell you why. Every night, after everyone has gone to bed, what do you think I hear at around 4am once everything else is quiet?” I immediately thought birds, but this guy tended to not let you say too much (thus from here on I will leave my one word responses out). “Birds!” he said. “And God is the only one who can make those birds chirp. When the winter comes and you feel that stiff wind hitting your face, you don’t see it but you know it’s there. It’s the same thing with God. Though I don’t see him, I know he is there. You know what the Bible says about helping those in need? Jesus said “I have no place to lay my head” and to help the least of these. Whether you met someone who was homeless, a drug addict or even a prostitute and you could help them, then you should. You need to be reading your Bible more. It says that once you give, let it go and don’t tell someone what to do with the money you gave. That is my decision, not your’s. If you are going to give with that heart, its better to not give at all. I’m not trying to offend you (he said this a few times throughout) but you are reading the Bible wrong if that’s what you think and you need to go back to your church and talk with your preacher because he is teaching you the wrong things. You probably think i am going to hell because I am homosexual right?” “I DO NOT think that at all sir” I mentioned. He continued “I guess since I was honest with you about wanting a drink then the next person I ask I will lie to them and say its for food so they wont ask questions, but if I ever see you again, I know not to ask you for help (again he made sure he wasn’t offending me, which he wasn’t). You all have a good night.”
Needless to say, I knew he wasn’t open to hearing what I had to say. So I asked for his name. He asked “Why? What does it matter?” I said “Well sir, I would like to be praying for..” “I don’t need you to pray for me” he interjected. Then he said something to the effect of “I know Jesus and He is with me and I pray every night. So why do I need your prayers?” I tried to tell him that though I pray myself, I still ask others to pray for me as brothers and sisters in Christ but, he wanted nothing to do with us since we weren’t going to help him get his drink. He said “I hope I didn’t offend you. Have a good rest of the night” and we shook hands.
I’ve ran it over and over in my head: “Should I have given him money?”. And these are my thoughts on it all. If someone asks for money and says its for food or gas or a bus ticket/taxi fare, I would give it. Even if I thought it was for alcohol or drugs, I would give because I can’t assume that every person in need is lying. But, this man told me first thing that he was an alcoholic wanting a drink. All I could think of was how alcohol was an idol for him. He wanted his drink so bad that he was very upfront about why he wanted money. It’s usually the opposite. Usually there is some story about needing food and then you watch someone buy liquor or cigarettes. But this guy was straight with us. As much as I wanted to help this guy, I could not help him worship an idol. I couldn’t help him feed an addiction that is more important than God to him. But all he heard was no. In the same way, I would not help a prostitute find someone to have sex with for money. Nor would I help a drug addict buy heroin or whatever they wanted. I want to help them, really I do. But helping them score their fix isn’t truly helping them. I want to help them run to Jesus when they are in need.
I left that interaction with him with a sad heart. It hurt me to hear him use the word the way he did to try to show me that I was wrong for not helping him the way he wanted. I was sad that he, an HIV+ homeless alcoholic, thought he didn’t need prayer. I was sad that moments later, he had a 40oz beer. BUT, I am also happy that the Spirit led my entire side of the conversation. I am glad that the Lord chose to show me things through that. Regardless, I am praying for him.
Thoughts?
Oh, here is a video of Amena Brown, the poet from tonight’s amazing show!
That is amazing, and I am so proud of the Christian example to are. I know it’s hard to use the Bible as your sword when someone else is using the same text. It was wonderful, and I appreciate this post.